What drives me?

Today is a day of reflection for me before I head out on my next road trip. It is amazing that almost every time I am about to go away I have this same type of relection/contemplation happening.


I know that I will be away with a bunch of teens and Ash, and I love them all. We will have some rest time and some quiet time and fun time and crazy time, but what I really need is some me time. I want to be so immersed in God and His heart that I discover my passion once again.


It was two years ago that God dropped the Boaz vision into my heart. As I sat in that prophetic prayer tent and heard the words, "God has told me you are to be a father to the fatherless", it changed my life. I had no choice but to follow thru on those words and the subsequent vision he gave.


Today I have found myself evaluating where the Boaz ministry is, two years after the vision. In some ways I feel like we are doing good:

• Three great staff (Ash, Drew and Jenna)
• Being the father to the fatherless with an amazing family of Love's
• God's provision for the ministry
• Drop in every Friday night
• A move afoot in the area of mentoring the fatherless

In some ways we need to be much further ahead:

• Financially we are stuck and not moving forward
• We have not really expanded into the "hurting" teens we are looking for
• We have a home that fits our ministry desires, but not the resources yet to purchase it
• I need to be a much stronger leader and visionary
• Orphaned children are a global issue, we need to be involved missionally to meet their needs

I am asking God to fill me up this week with His anointing. I am looking for a Word from the Lord, I am looking forward to being in the Word and I just purchased two books on leadership to help me get focused. 

What drives me is hurting children and teens!!! I want to be filled with compassion and take this ministry to another level. I want to be an effective leader and clearly see His hand leading me!

one more GPS and that'll make it three.

This week has been pure chaos - emotionally and physically. This summer has been going by way to fast and the fact that it's down pouring outside doesn't help this "end of July" pity party I've been throwing for myself all morning. I guess you could say that I quite fancy this season. 

I'm intending on leaving at some point today to go to the U2 + Arcade Fire concert in Moncton. I still have yet to pack for SOULFEST. I pray the Lord give me the strength to have an overwhelming amount of patience. You can pray for that for me too, please and thanks. 

I'm not a big driver - at all. I usually get lost driving to Moncton - I'm driving to New Hampshire tomorrow. Scott and Drew both offered their GPS' to me - I plan on taking both... they don't know that yet.

I will say this though: I am GREATLY blessed. Not in the, "I have two GPS' to get me back from New Hampshire" blessed kind-of-way.

I am blessed for the Creator of my soul. I am blessed because I have a Savior that is for me. I am blessed because He is telling me to become aware.

He is teaching me some hard-to-handle ideas to grasp. When I'm ignoring conviction, I'm ignoring God's presence. I am trying to do the impossible.

I don't think my heart is fully aware of what God is doing. I continue to tell, (persuade and/or convince) myself that He has prepared my heart for what is about to come, but I don't think it will be ever be fully prepared. That transition, that process, that plan, needs to happen with God. That is the preparing.

and this is just the beginning.


grace and peace,

ash. 

Sailing on lake Ontario

I spent last night with the recently discovered uncle of a family we have been helping through the Boaz Ministry. We had a great time talking about the new found family he has and the miracle of God that has brought this into reality. I had never met this gentleman until last night we had only chatted on the internet a couple of times.


In this type of ministry it is important to spend time with people and to discover who they are. One way to do this is do something together. Don is an avid sailor, not a drunken sailor, and he is very well respected in the sailing community. Each person I talked with told me what an incredibly nice man he is. I saw that first hand.


I had never been sailing before and my goal on this trip and any trip I do outside of Fredericton is to do something that is not "comfortable". I want to do new experiences and in order to do that it requires stepping out of what  is safe and easy. Don was such an amazing host and he loaned me all the gear I needed. We then prepared the sailboat, actually he prepared it, and we headed out on Lake Ontario. The winds were very calm and the sailing was easy.

Calm  before the big waves, beautiful!

After we were on the water for about 15 minutes Don said "we are going to get some heavy winds". I asked him how he knew that and he responded "I can see it in the distance on the waves". Sure enough within 20 seconds the wind picked up big time. I wasn't scared because I trusted Don that he knew what he was doing. He set a direction for the boat and we went directly into the wind. After about 15 minutes of this intense waves things died down as we entered into the safety of the harbor.

Safety of the harbor

Here is what I learned:

• It is important to know where the wind is going
• I need to trust someone other than myself
• Sometimes in life you have to meet your challenges head on
• It is safe in the harbour but the real fun is in the battle

What is the application?

• I need to spend time with Him so I can know where He is going
• I need to trust Him as my captain in all things
• We shouldn't run away from challenges, cuz eventaully they will catch us and flip us over
• I would rather not play life safe!

I would sail again with Don. He was great to be with and he will be a great uncle for these kids. He and I will also be friends for a lengthy time, we really connected!

A U2 break

I have been feeling pretty drained and overwhelmed these last few days. It is a time where I would say that there was not much left in the tank. A trip out of town has been so timely and so needed.

I have to say that i am not going to be doing too much. Last night my wife and I headed down to the Rogers Center to take in a concert by my favorite band ever U2. The music they play is so powerful and it really ministers to me. One of my favorite songs is called "Elevation". It talks about God digging deep into our souls, helping us to see what is inside and then taking us to a new level. I need that!

What have I discovered? I am very passionate about helping struggling teens! I am deeply concerned about issues of social justice! I love the nation of Dominican Republic and the beautiful people in that country!

I have also learned that in order to "elevate" the Boaz ministry to the next level, I need to be more active in raising awareness and funds for the ministry. I want to see us reaching more people! I want to see us get the home we looked at and start taking in teens who are in need of safe and nurturing environments.

Another of my favorite songs by U2 is  I Still Haven`t Found What I`m Looking For. This song talks about a journey with God that has its ebbs and flows. The writer is talking about not reaching that place where he wants to be with God. That is me. Sometimes I feel I am there and sometimes I know I could be going so much deeper.

I am trusting that during  my time away I can rest, elevate my soul and move deeper with God! I am thankful for the U2 concert, it really was a blessing!

http://www.youtube.com/wat​ch?v=ypRVlr4ilHU