Talking to teens

One of the greatest responsibilities and privileges we have in life are to have children. Children are a blessing from God. 


I can remember as a child a Christmas morning when I was probably about 12 or so coming out of my bedroom and walking down the hall to the Christmas tree. I noticed something right away, the old television was gone and a new one was in its place. It had a lot more buttons and features on it and I needed to learn how to use it. 


Having children is a learning experience. When we first have children we know that there are certain basic things that they need. Things like food, changed diapers, warm clothing and lots of human affection. As our children get older and they begin to form their own personalities we need to adjust how we treat them. There are many ways we can do that but we should never get away from the basics of love, food, clothing and human affection. Sometimes children are even denied those most basic things.


As our children move into their teen years, things change. They have many amazing and challenging things taking place in their lives. Often their parents stop trying to understand their world and stop talking. They have lots of things they think their teens should do, but when the teens ask them why, they respond with "because!" Because is not an answer! We need to communicate with our teens.


Recently I have been dealing with teens coming from abusive families. Yes some of them involve physical abuse, but often that abuse is verbal. Parents don't have conversations with their teens anymore because all they do is scream at their kids. Screaming is not a way to communicate! 


What if we took our kids out for a hot chocolate and sat down and tried to understand their world. What if other adults spent the time with the teens and listening to what they are saying. Teens have lots to say, and they would love to talk with their family, but if they always have to listen to us instead of sharing with us, we can't expect them to open up.


You need to understand that the Christmas morning I referred to was special. It was the first time we went from having a black and white television to a colored television. Having a colored tv changed the way we say what we were looking at. It came to life! 


I would challenge you to look at your teens in a new way. Not everything in life is black or white. Your kids  are living in a very colorful world!