Mistakes parents make

We had a really good discussion this morning in our youth ministry. The topic was areas of conflict that parents have with teens and teens have with parents. Here are a few of the things the teens shared as conflicts:

• clothes
• money
• rules
• make up (for the girls, thankfully)
• attitudes

Of course the list could go on much longer but I am writing just a few of the things. What we focused on even more was how to handle ourselves as parents or teens when it comes to conflict.

Sadly, when people are in conflict they become highly emotional. During that emotional state some pretty damaging things can be said. Things that can impact relationships for a long, long time.

I think that we as parents need to admit that sometimes we are wrong. Not all the time but certainly some of the time. We need to be willing to listen to our teens and hear them out. One way to get a teen to stop talking, is to always have to be right.

I am not saying that teens are always right either, because they are not. They cannot see things from a long term perspective. They can't always predict that the choices they make now may have a huge impact on their lives in the future. I hope that we can help our teens to understand this without getting into a screaming match.

I think this is important to talk about because too many teens are feeling disconnected from their parents. So much damage is done from a few misguided words spoken in the heat "of the battle". I know I can do better and maybe you can too!!!

Let us choose to love first, listen second and speak third. Love will always prevail. A few words spoken in love goes a long way. A damaging word spoken in rage goes on and on and on...