Families in chaos

I am more and more burdened for families and the lack of commitment that parents have towards their children. As I talk with teens I am made more and more aware of the break down in basic communication.


I want to share some of the things they have said to me over the last week:

• My dad smokes weed every day, drinks 24 beer each night, and is a chain smoker. I know that the reason he does this is because he is shy and doesn't have many friends. He is my best friend and someone I can talk to about anything. He is always there for me. Later in the conversation this teen said: two weeks ago I did something that upset my dad, and he dropped me as his friend on facebook.
• I find it so hard to talk to my parents, but last night I thought I would try again. I told my dad that I really wanted to talk with him but I felt like he never listened or had time for me. After a few minutes I asked my dad what he thought and he said "I didn't hear what you were saying". This proved it. I am about ready to stop talking with my dad.
• It doesn't matter what I do, my mother is so hard to live with. She demands so much out of me, and yet she doesn't do any of the things she asks me to do. I try to talk in a normal way with my mom but she always yells at me. Then she goes and sits in the car and says she wants to die. I don't want her to die, but I can't keep living this way with her.
• I have talked to my mom and dad so many times about the way they treat me and how much it hurts me to hear them screaming all the time. Most of the time they are screaming at each other about nothing. Then if one of them leaves the room they start screaming at me. I can't handle living with them, I never want to be home.
• My mother calls me a whore
• My parents don't think I am capable of making any good decisions. They tell me how stupid I am. They tell me to grow up. How can I grow up if every time I try to do something they interfere and then tell me how stupid I am.
• My mother told me it was OK to have fun in the basement with my friends for my 18th birthday. She even went out and bought me two cases of beer to celebrate. I trust my mom!

All of these conversations represent different teens I have talked to this week. There is so much more I could have written.

Thoughts...

Way off track

We have been having a discussion in our Sunday school class about the parable of the Good Samaritan. In fact we have been focused on this one issue for the past 3 months. The questions is: what should our response be to  seeing someone hurt or being "beaten up", whatever that means.


We read a story about a Good Samaritan in one city that found a dog in a ditch that had beaten up and abandoned and helped it. The kids all thought that was pretty cool. I agreed it was nice to do, but then I asked them why it was easier to help a dog than it was to help a person. There response was that it was safer to help a dog than a person. They reflect what many people think.


If we read the scripture God commands us, not suggests or tells us it would be a good idea, but commands us to love our brother and sister in need and do something about their situation. We have been studying this too! So I asked the question why do you think it is better for you to help an animal than a person. The overwhelming response was that their parents and society has told them to not get involved. How sad is that!


I am not slamming my teens, they are just a reflection of how messed up our world has become. 


I then asked the question, what would happen if you were the person laying on the ground and beat up.How would you feel if everyone just walked by you? What if everyone just chose to not get involved? It was a completely different response, they would want to receive help.


The golden rule we used to be taught was to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We also know from scripture that we are to love our brothers and sisters, and to love them as we love ourselves. 


Somehow we have gotten way off track! Does anyone else feel the same way? Thoughts...

Prayer items

I met a young man when I was in Newfoundland that had his life drastically change about a year ago when he surrounded himself with questionable people. Tomorrow he will know the outcome of charges filed against him.
Will you please pray for Dan that the judge shows him favor tomorrow so he can get his life back.


On another note, I would encourage you to read the following article on CNN.

I find this so offensive. Will you join with me in praying for these kids. Lets find a way to be sure these teens find safe places to go where they will be truly loved. I believe anyone that exploits teens, should be severely punished.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/20/siu.selling.girl.next.door.backpage/index.html?hpt=C1

Here is an excerpt from the article:

 According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there are at least 100,000 underage girls being sex trafficked in America today.

That's a conservative estimate based on what little hard data currently exists; NCMEC believes the real number could be as high as 300,000.

Most are runaways, suffering from psychological problems or drug dependence, picked up and sold by pimps for staggering profits. According to studies, pimps can make up to half a million dollars a year, and they frequently prey on the young and the vulnerable.

.

Prayer items

I met a young man when I was in Newfoundland that had his life drastically change about a year ago when he surrounded himself with questionable people. Tomorrow he will know the outcome of charges filed against him.
Will you please pray for Dan that the judge shows him favor tomorrow so he can get his life back.


On another note, I would encourage you to read the following article on CNN.

I find this so offensive. Will you join with me in praying for these kids. Lets find a way to be sure these teens find safe places to go where they will be truly loved. I believe anyone that exploits teens, should be severely punished.

http://www.cnn.com/2011/CRIME/01/20/siu.selling.girl.next.door.backpage/index.html?hpt=C1

Here is an excerpt from the article:

 According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, there are at least 100,000 underage girls being sex trafficked in America today.

That's a conservative estimate based on what little hard data currently exists; NCMEC believes the real number could be as high as 300,000.

Most are runaways, suffering from psychological problems or drug dependence, picked up and sold by pimps for staggering profits. According to studies, pimps can make up to half a million dollars a year, and they frequently prey on the young and the vulnerable.

.

Hope

There are times in our lives that God puts certain people in our path for very specific purposes. Yesterday was another of those times. Let me share just a little bit of what took place.


It was my day off yesterday and I had planned to go and visit someone but I got delayed and had to put that visit off. I figured I would just enjoy the day off since I couldn't do what I had intended. God had something else planned. I got a call from the folks at Trinitea's saying my 1:00 appointment had arrived, I didn't have a 1:00 appointment scheduled because I don't set up Monday appointments anymore.


I made my way to the cafe and was greeted by a family of four. This family consisted of a grandma, a mom and her son and daughter. Soon after we got together the grandma had to leave and I sat at the table with the other three. They began to share their story with me and the overall hopelessness of their situation.


I sat and listened, which is the best thing I can do. Each of the three shared a bit of their lives over the past dozen years or so. It was incredibly touching and sad. I then asked some questions in order to further understand their challenges. I sensed that God really wants this ministry to be involved in helping this entire family, the mom, the 17 year old son and 13 year old daughter.


I can see much more clearly that Boaz is doing exactly what it was created to do, which is to give hope in the midst of chaos and despair. I love how God has taught us important lessons of patience and unconditional caring and love for those that others have given up on.


Before I finished our conversation I told the mom that we would help. I asked her to give me a week before we decided on a course of action. I told her I wanted to spend some time in prayer in order to determine the best way for us to proceed. Would you join me in praying for this family in crisis.

Difficult phone call

We had a wonderful drop in on Friday night. We had three people come out and four if you count the parent of a young lady we had never met before.


This family found out about the drop in through one of our signs in the downtown area. The mom and daughter came in and spent the night with us.We also had Jerry and Amanda there for a while which made a big difference for sure.


We played some games and interacted around a game of scrabble. As we played and shared, relationships were built. Relationships of trust are most easily built over a common ground, in this case it was while playing a game of scrabble. I am reminded that board games are a great way for people to spend quality time together.


At the end of the night we said our goodbyes, but not before the daughter (I will call her Alex, not her real name), began to share a little bit about her horrific journey the past four years. Her mother told me that we are the first people her daughter has shared her story with, besides her.


Alex told us she wanted to come back to our drop in and that she wanted to attend our youth group too. She has just moved here and doesn't know anyone. She is very lonely and in need of GOOD friends. I don't want to see this young lady get in with the wrong crowd.


This morning I got a distress call from the mom. Alex had gone out last night and not returned home as of this morning. The police were called and were actively looking for her. While I was talking with the mom on the phone her daughter did return home but it made for a long night for her mom.


I will be meeting this afternoon with Alex. Please pray for her and her family. I see that these are the kids we are trying to reach out to. It isn't easy ministry but it is so important.

Full circle

Today I had a great lunch time as John, one of our advisory board members, and I had the opportunity to sit with a teen and offer him an opportunity to become a part time employee of our ministry. What will Jerry's role be in the ministry? I will explain.


We have been thinking about how we can best market this ministry. Somehow, we need to be able to share this ministry with those young teens at risk and who better to do that than someone who has been through that. We need someone that can interact with those on the street and invite them to be involved in some of the programs that we offer.


It is amazing to me how many people know Jerry and how many teens share things with him about how they are doing. Jerry has a real heart for people and wants to help. We thought that maybe this would be a good opportunity for him and a great way to help him continue in his journey to a better in life.


I have learned a few things this first year of Boaz ministry. The number one thing is that we need to be really patient with those that come across our path. Some days there will be great victories and other days it will feel like we are taking a step backwards. We can't measure our success based on the day to day.


We have to never give up! We have to let those we minister know that we believe in them and that we have hope for them. On top of all of this we need to let people know that we are praying for them and that God loves them and He cares!


Right now Jerry is a success story. My prayer for him is that he will continue to grow in his faith and be successful in those things that are important to him. I know he desires to finish his education, get moved out of the shelter and spend some time encouraging some of his friends. May God grant him the desires of His heart!

Re set button

I got a really amazing Christmas present this year, an e reader. It is a handheld device that can handle over 100 books. All I have to do is go online and find a book I like, then pay a discounted price and upload it to my ebook. It is simple! Unless it doesn't work right.

Last week I went to upload a book and it didn't work. In fact I couldn't even recharge it in order for it to have enough power to sustain itself. I am not technically savvy, so I called the place where it was purchased and they suggested I send it back and get it fixed. Their solution was to replace it.

I called my brother in law tonight who bought the ereader for me and told him I needed the receipt since I had to send it back to the company. He said, "have you tried the reset button?" I said that I didn't even know I had a reset button. I pushed the button and boom it reset and began to work. Amazing it works!!!

I know this sounds like a pointless story but it isn't. I got to thinking how many teens out there have been sent away because they didn't perform the way their owners (parents) thought they should. What they really needed was an opportunity to just have their reset button pushed. At times we just need someone like my brother in law who could suggest an appropriate adjustment.

Desperate family

I love being able to instill hope in the lives of people. Most times it is by letting people know that they are not alone in their struggle.


This afternoon I talked with a grandmother whose grandson is going through some really challenging times. She has felt all alone in praying for her grandchild. She shared her desperate heart and I assured her that we would try and help as best as we can.


This young mans life became difficult through the abuse he endured as a young child. It is not something he asked for it was something that was done to him. I was reminded of this recurring theme of abuse and its long term impact on people once again.


Last night I was watching a documentary on television of a man in his 50's who was raped by his uncle when he was 11 years old. He had been haunted by this horrible assault for over 40 years. It led to all kinds of self abuse and addiction issues. 


Many of the troubled teens that we will meet over the upcoming years in this ministry will have suffered some type of abuse. It may be physical, emotional, mental, sexual or spiritual. My prayer is that the Lord will give us the wisdom and patience to work with them.


Ultimately we know the one who can bring true healing is Jesus Christ. I trust that God will do what none of us can do, bring deep inner healing to those who need to experience it! It is then that they will experience real hope!

Power of prayer

I have been praying along with others for baby Ethan for some time now. I want to encourage us to pray for the impossible.

I do not know where to start, so I will use Lisa's words.  Forget everything that you have heard about Ethan.

 

Lisa and Shaun talked to Dr Hanley at the Lucille Packard Children Hospital in Palo Alto, California on Thursday Jan 6.  He told them that  he will perform surgery and that Ethan should have a fairly normal life.  He will not be a star athlete, but he will be able to ride his bike and play with other kids. 

 

The pediatric heart specialists in Western Canada including the Stollery Children Hospital in Edmonton have given Ethan very little chance of survival, doubtful that he would see his 2nd birthday.  The doctors at Stollery recommended that he be sent to Dr. Hanley (California).  This has raised many challenges, but one by one they are being overcome.  The first obstacle was whether or not Medicare would cover his hospital expenses.  That has been okay-ed, and also air ambulance costs except for $2400.00.  Many details still need to be worked out and questions asked including just what Lisa & Shaun will need to take, or if they can take them, ie his formula, his medications,  will they be able to take enough clothes for him and themselves for their stay.  They will also need to make arrangements about where they will stay.  They need to be in Palo Alto approximately a week before Ethan's surgery.  The recovery time should be between 10 days and 3 weeks,  and that is not when he would be transferred to a hospital in Saskatoon.  It is when they would be able to take him home. (absolutely amazing)

 

When Lisa and Shaun heard this, they told Dr. Hanley that all the doctors here had said that Ethan was going to die.  His reply was that he heard that all the time (from parents).  Lisa and Shaun could hardly believe  Dr. Hanley's optimistic prognosis.  It is quite a change from being told that your son is going to die, to being told that he can be fixed and that he can leave a fairly normal life.

 

Ethan is our miracle, and he was been since he was 2 weeks old when Lisa & Shaun took him off life support.  He was expected to die very shortly, with the doctors and nurses giving him from minutes to several days at the most.  God obviously has a plan, we do not know what it is, or what the time frame will be, but we do believe that HE has a plan.  Many people have and continue to pray for Ethan, and we are very thankful for that.  It says in the Bible that we should continue to pray for what we want.  It says that we should not give up, but that we should continue to ask God.  We sometimes feel like giving up, because we want our prayers answered in our time frame, we need to be patient, continue to pray and believe that God hears our prayers ( and those of others) and that in HIS time he will answer.

 

Ethan's surgery is booked for April 13.  Please continue to pray for Ethan, Lisa and Shaun,  Pray that they all remain healthy, especially Ethan, so that surgery does not have to be delayed.

 

Shaun's parents are organizing a steak & chicken fundraiser at Mulberry's on Tuesday January 18, starting at 6pm.  Mulberry's is in the Sturdy Stone Centre on the corner of 23rd and 3rd Avenue.  They have room for 150 people.  If you are interested in coming please contact me for tickets at 931 1297.  Please leave a message if we are not home.  Hope to see many of you there.

 

Ernie & Wanda 

Praying for breakthrough

I have a picture of two amazing young ladies on my screen saver. There names are Paola and Francesca two amazing girls from Dominican. I wear bracelets they gave me while I was there and I have their picture to look at each day to remind me to pray for them.

I do a lot of soul searching when I think of them and pray for them. The reason I do this is because I wonder if they had enough food to eat today. I wonder if they know that God really loves them and that He cares about their situation. I wonder if the water they drink today is safe. I wonder if they know how much they have impacted my life.

Lord, again today I would ask for a supernatural provision for these two dear girls. May you remind them how much you care for them and that they have tremendous value. Lord would you today somehow provide for them physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Condemned

It is time to get back in the mode of  blogging. I really love to do it, but it was a much needed break.


I have spent the last couple of weeks doing disaster relief with the RRT here in New Brunswick, it is the same organization I went to the Olympics and the Newfoundland hurricane relief with. A large number of families in our immediate area suffered tremendous loss as the result of the floods which lambasted our city almost three weeks ago.


One family I met are Mary and Clifford. They are a couple who lived in a very modest home near the Keswick River. During the flood their home was inundated with water and they lost everything. Yesterday they found out that their home has been condemned. What that means is that they will never be able to live in their home again and that if they choose to rebuild at their present lot that they will be unable to ever get help from the government again with loss from future flooding..


Most people who go through things like this are devastated as you can imagine. Mary and Clifford have taken a different route. They have chosen to rededicate their lives to Christ. They are so excited to be given a new chance in life even though it is still difficult. 


Yesterday I made a suggestion that we hire Clifford to help us with some of the disaster relief as he has lots of experience driving. It has been so great to invest in them and to give Clifford a sense of purpose. He told me today that he is having so much fun doing disaster relief. I love that he is having such a great experience.


Please join me in praying for Mary and Clifford as they begin a fresh journey with Jesus!